As a Japanese American who frequently travels to Japan, I am always stuck with the fact that I look like everyone else - but of course I am not. I look Japanese but I can’t speak Japanese (very well) and I am culturally very American. But, if I keep my mouth shut, I totally blend in with the crowd. This situation creates some rather awkward moments.
When approached by a “normal” gaijin (white foreigner), a Japanese person goes through what I call a mental “English preparation ritual” as they prepare themselves for the inevitable. You even see some Japanese people take a wide path around a gaijin so that they won’t have to undergo the embarrassment of an English speaking encounter.
With me, the unsuspecting Japanese person is caught totally off guard. I’m a Stealth Gaijin! When I first started to go to Japan, I was proud to try out my meager Japanese skills.
“Sumimasen, toilet wa doko desuka?” Or, “excuse me, where is the toilet,” I would ask. Simple enough of a question.
The reply: “Toilet? thai thhakkjh ahjdh eaiueien mngn jthajdiht ahoiehhg akejaob baphthw yqujn ejitzkcni uo nanccko lt ancjkaoh aehfna, aeanngjeh aheh gapoqntiu hbhtngnnj.” (what I heard).
And as I would proceed to open the door to the broom closet or some other wrong door, the Japanese speaker will give me this look as if to say, “are you deaf, or are you stupid, I said the toilet was…. ajlad jhhena jfoenamfnaie anfnkladf aoienvngha a addfj qhenthgn aiptjan a nfks! What an idiot!”
Embarrassed, I would quietly slink away holding my pee for another time.
Finally, I good Japanese friend of mine suggested a solution: “Your Japanese is not very good, you should just speak English.” Damm, why didn’t I think of that?
After that revelation, my encounters with Japanese people become something more like this:
“Sumimasen, eigo de hanashite moii desuka?” Or “excuse me, may I speak English to you?” I would then proceed with my best “slow and simple” English. After a brief moment of stunned silence (oh my God, it’s a Stealth Gaijin), the Japanese speaker is now on the defensive. Totally unprepared for an English encounter, even a capable English speaking person might have a hard time conversing with me.
If I see them struggling with English, then I might say “nihongo wo chotto wakaru kedo, yukkuri hanashite kudasai.” Or “I understand a little Japanese, but please speak slowly.”
Suddenly, I have the upper hand in the conversation as the Japanese speaker is now thankful that I am able to meet them half-way. This strategy really works, as it also saves you and the Japanese speaker from an overly awkward and embarrassing situation.
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Thats interesting experience. I’m glad you find a way to converse without the awkwardness. I speak some spanish, most of my mexican friends speak spanish mixed with english words. When they go to Mexico to visit or for vacation, they’re shocked to find people can’t understand them.
Left by Sharon on March 23rd, 2007
While in Japan on the JET Program, I knew another JET who never really learned much Japanese. Instead, he’d speak very slow “Engrish” at people.
Him: “Huwea izu za basu?” (where is the bus)
Them: “Zea!” (there) and pointing in the right direction
Left by Elika on November 19th, 2007
This is so true! I’m only half-Japanese (Okinawan, actually, and the other half is also Asian) but the last time I was in Tokyo with my tall, blond American friend, shopkeepers and passers-by would address their remarks to me. I’d smile, nod politely then turn to my friend and ask “what did they say?” and he would answer them in his flawless Japanese. I got a lot of suspicious looks and shaking heads… But I love your term Stealth Gaijin, that’s so on the mark!
Found your site looking for info on adopting from Japan, or in Japan. Your daughter is quite a cutie!
Left by Manju on May 27th, 2008